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Politically Correct Chess


Politically Correct Chess

by L. Lynn Smith

It is a known fact that the Mad Queen variant is a game from an

un-enlightened time. It is filled with oppression, class-ism,

sex-ism, etc. Thus it was essential that this game be brought

into compliance with acceptable modern standards.

The following changes are required:

The name of the King is now the Designated Individual.

The name of the Queen is now the Significant Other.

The name of the Bishop is now the Group Therapist.

The name of the Knight is now the Social Worker.

The name of the Rook is now the Public Housing.

The name of the Pawn is now the Average Individual.

There is also the introduction of a new piece called the Conflict


The playing field is now 10x10, the reason being that the previous

8x8 playing field retains so many bad memories and players should not

be forced to re-live the abuse which they suffered within its domain.


This is the initial set-up:


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The suggested color of the pieces is green and blue. Order

of play may be determined by coin toss.

There are no actual captures in this games, being a barbaric

form of play. But there are temporary displacements. Pieces

which are displaced from the field can be re-introduced to the

field under certain obligations. These are best known as

Involuntary Time-Outs.


Both the Designated Individual and the Significant Other, being

equal partners, move alike. Each is able to slide orthogonal

or diagonal through vacant cells. Neither piece may displace

other pieces. A displaced Designated Individual must be

re-introduced to a cell adjacent one of the Significant Others.

A displaced Significant Other can only be re-introduced to a

cell adjacent a Designated Individual.

The Group Therapist slides diagonal. But because this form

of move un-fairly obligates it to half of the playing field,

it is allowed to perform a single orthogonal step. This privilege

may be noted with a token under the piece which is removed after

it is exercised. A piece which is displaced by a Group Therapist

is returned to its player who may re-introduce it as a move on

any of that particular piece's initial starting positions, which

must be vacant. These position may be on either side of the field.

This applies to all pieces which are displaced by the Group Therapist.

This particular obligation is seen as an attempt to give the displaced

piece the opportunity to began anew. A displaced Group Therapist which

is re-introduced to the playing field is allowed another orthogonal

step privilege.

The Social Worker leaps to any second cell, but does not

displace pieces from the field. Instead it pushes any piece

located in the target cell into an adjacent vacant cell. If

there is no vacant cell for such a move, it is not permitted to

make that leap. The target piece may be of either players'

Group. It may not displace a piece if it and the piece are

adjacent the same Conflict Arbitrator. And such displacement

may result in 'sandwich' displacements by a player's Average

Individuals. It may not leap to vacant cells.

The Public Housing is allowed to slide orthogonal through vacant

cells. On the first move, it is allowed to slide nine cells. The

second move, eight cells. The third move, seven cells. The fourth

move, six cells. The fifth move, five cells. The sixth move,

four cells. The seventh move, three cell. The eight move, two

cells. And the ninth move, one cell. After the ninth move, it is

not permitted to move. All pieces which are adjacent the Public

Housing are not allowed to move, although Average Individuals may

still participate in 'sandwich' displacements and all 'frozen'

pieces may be displaced by the Social Worker. A displaced Public

Housing which is re-introduced to the playing field begins again

with the privilege of sliding up to nine cells, then eight, then

seven, etc. This ability can be noted with a stack of tokens under

the piece, one being removed after each move of the piece.

The Conflict Arbitrator may leap to any vacant cell on the field, as

long as it imposes itself between two pieces, regardless of player.

It cannot be displaced.

The Average Individual steps orthogonal or diagonal to vacant cells.

When two Average Individuals, regardless of player, are oriented

with a piece between them(sandwiched), that piece, also regardless

of player, may be displaced and returned to its player who may swap

out one of their Average Individual with this piece as a move. And

this displaced Average Individual is considered 'retired' and

may be re-introduced as a non-moving piece on any vacant cell of

the playing field on a subsequent turn. Such can be noted with

a token. Retired Average Individuals are still allowed to

participate in sandwich displacements but they themselves may

not be displaced.

The 'sandwich' displacement may involve more than one piece. 'Sandwich'

displaced Average Individuals are re-introduced as Retired Average

Individuals to any vacant cell on the field as a turn. Re-introduced

Retired Average Individuals may perform 'sandwich' displacements.


Any piece which is allowed to displaced others can do so to

either players' pieces. This is Equal Opportunity

All displacements are voluntary. No piece is obligated to perform

a move which would force it to make a displacement. Each player

should feel comfortable to make their own Choice.

Game Resolution:

A player who has not any non-retired Average Individuals on the

field at any time has deferred their victory of the game. This is

known as the Non-Productive Resolution.

If at the end of a turn, a player does not have both their Designated

Individual and Significant Other on the field then their victory is

also deferred. This is know as the Dissolution Resolution.

If all four Conflict Arbitrators are adjacent each other, all located

in a 2x2 area, the game is considered amiably ended. This particular

pattern is known as the Agreeable Resolution.


Each player is allowed to pass on their turn. If both players

consecutively pass their turn, the game is considered over. This

is known as the Satisfactory Resolution.

Although players are obligated to move only those pieces which are

initially located on their side of the field, this should not be

construed as ownership. This is Personal Mentoring.

This 'user submitted' page is a collaboration between the posting user and the Chess Variant Pages. Registered contributors to the Chess Variant Pages have the ability to post their own works, subject to review and editing by the Chess Variant Pages Editorial Staff.

By Larry L. Smith.
Web page created: 2005-11-22. Web page last updated: 2005-11-22