🕸Fergus Duniho wrote on Sat, Aug 6, 2016 04:54 PM UTC:
This seems to be a very creative, well thought-out game. I made some minor edits, but this page would also benefit from some reorganization, which I'll leave in the hands of the author. Some parts of the Introduction, Setup, and Rules belong in the Notes section. The Introduction should be short and to the point. The Setup section should stop with the setup. Details on Notation should be moved to Notes. The Rules section should be briefer, leaving details about strategy for Notes. Right now, there is too much non-essential content to wade through to learn how to play this game. For the Introduction, Setup, Pieces, and Rules sections, brevity should be the rule. Save elaboration and tangents for the Notes. Also, try to keep the page short enough to read in one sitting. Let me know when you have fixed the page up, and I will look at it again.
This seems to be a very creative, well thought-out game. I made some minor edits, but this page would also benefit from some reorganization, which I'll leave in the hands of the author. Some parts of the Introduction, Setup, and Rules belong in the Notes section. The Introduction should be short and to the point. The Setup section should stop with the setup. Details on Notation should be moved to Notes. The Rules section should be briefer, leaving details about strategy for Notes. Right now, there is too much non-essential content to wade through to learn how to play this game. For the Introduction, Setup, Pieces, and Rules sections, brevity should be the rule. Save elaboration and tangents for the Notes. Also, try to keep the page short enough to read in one sitting. Let me know when you have fixed the page up, and I will look at it again.